### What’s Inside Diahann Carroll’s Private Diary Leaves Fans in Tears

Diahann Carroll, born Carol Diane Johnson on July 17, 1935, in the Bronx, became a trailblazing icon as Hollywood’s first Black leading lady. Her role as Julia Baker in the 1968 TV series *Julia* shattered barriers, presenting her as a smart, elegant single mother and drawing 40 million weekly viewers.

Yet, behind her polished image, Carroll’s life was marked by profound struggles, revealed in private diaries discovered by her daughter, Suzanne Kay, in 2020 after Carroll’s death in 2019 at age 84 from breast cancer complications. These pages expose a heartbreaking double life, filled with loneliness, regret, and the heavy cost of fame.

Carroll’s childhood in Harlem during the Great Depression was shaped by hardship and abandonment. Her parents, struggling financially, left her with an aunt in North Carolina at 18 months and again at 10 years old, leaving deep emotional scars of feeling unwanted.

These wounds, she later wrote, contributed to four failed marriages. Despite early talent—singing in church at six and modeling for *Ebony* by 10—racism and rejection shadowed her. She faced constant dismissal for being “too dark” and endured segregated sets, yet her perseverance led to historic achievements, including a Tony Award in 1962 for *No Strings* and an Oscar nomination for *Claudine* in 1974.

Her diaries reveal the personal toll of her groundbreaking career. While portraying a perfect mother on *Julia*, Carroll struggled as a single parent to Suzanne, born in 1960. Working 12-hour days, she missed crucial moments in her daughter’s life, a regret that haunted her. She admitted fame swallowed her identity, leaving her emotionally drained.

The diaries also detail why she stayed in abusive relationships, including a painful marriage to Freddy Glusman in 1968 and a controlling affair with Sidney Poitier, seeking safety amid Hollywood’s pressures. Her 1975 marriage to Robert DeLeon ended tragically with his death in a 1977 car crash, deepening her scars.

Carroll’s writings expose the isolation of being a Black star in the 1950s and 1960s, often feeling like a token in a white industry. She faced death threats for her roles, requiring bodyguards, and endured pay disparities and demeaning stereotypes.

Even as she inspired with elegance—evident in *Dynasty* (1984-1987)—she battled self-doubt and the fear of aging in a judgmental Hollywood, undergoing plastic surgeries she later regretted. Her 2008 memoir hinted at these struggles, but the diaries lay bare the raw loneliness beneath her glamour.

In 2024, these diaries inspired the documentary *Between Starshine and Clay*, funded by a $4.2 million Ford Foundation grant, using Carroll’s words, photos, and videos to showcase her courage.

Tributes from Oprah Winfrey and Viola Davis hailed her as a legend who paved the way for Black women. Yet, her confessions of guilt over Suzanne and the personal cost of breaking barriers leave fans in tears, revealing the tragic price of being a pioneer.